Back to the Drawing Board

My brother asked the question I have been dreading ever since I decided to resign my job:

“What are your plans?”

It has been seventeen days since my last day of work. Last week I got my last pay,

  • minus the uniform allowance because I didn’t finish the quarter even though it was down to the last 19 days of it.
  • Minus my contribution for our parents’ Christmas gift
  • Minus this month’s bills
  • Minus my contribution for the holiday feast

So to sum up, financially I am screwed.

So what are my plans? I have been enjoying my vacation so much and the fact that my mom just gave me the assurance that there is definitely no rush to get a job. After graduating college I already jumped in the first job opportunity that came. I resigned after a month and transferred to another. After leaving that job I started working after 2 weeks of rest. So yes, basically I didn’t get any sort of break. I think I owed myself a break that’s why I didn’t mind resting for a few months. My last job did a number on me, leaving me tired, sick and a flat lined self esteem.

After the grueling review of my bank account I feel this pressure to get a job fast. But I made a promise to myself. I need to find a job where I can finally cast my anchor. I am only 24 years old and you may say that it may be a little too early, but not for this family. Security is everything. Not that it is a bad thing but being adventurous seems too out of the question. (and yes to answer your question I do live with my parents.)

Which leads me to a few plans I have set for myself that will be executed after the holidays:

PLAN A: Work for a big corporate

I have my eyes set on a few companies. After working for a small one and basically getting my morale destroyed by the people I worked with, I have decided to find an established company where the ground rules are set. I don’t want to go in a workplace where it’s like walking in blindfolded. I don’t want to have that feeling of going to war with no bullets. No sir. I will not go through that again.

PLAN B: Run the family business

My mother is retiring soon and she’s planning to invest her money on a new business. I’ve tried convincing her to invest in me so I can take up masters abroad but she said that she invested enough of her money and time when I was an undergrad. That I cannot argue with, because it’s true. Thanks Mom! So with that off the table, the next best thing to handle the future family business. We haven’t decided what kind of business we should start but it’s definitely exciting.

PLAN C: Work abroad

My parents want me to go to Canada, even willing to pay for the airfare. Working in Canada will be convenient since I have relatives there. My friend wants me to join in him in California or New York but I don’t know if there is a place for a foreign average girl with no great talent there, especially New York. I have my heart set on Ireland. I want to try living on my own. Yes, I am 100% sure that I will be homesick and it is pretty scary because I’ll be in a foreign land but my heart is calling out to Ireland. What I would give for a chance to try my luck there.

Out of all the three plans the third one appeals to me the most. I don’t know what is happening to me lately. I am the kind of person who sticks with the safe ground, the little bird who doesn’t want to leave the nest because she’s too afraid to be too far from her parents. I guess maturity is starting to kick in. need to learn how to be independent; to make my own choices, to fall down and stand up on my own.

I’ve been relying on my family too much. I need to grow up.

Geez. Talk about late bloomer. Haha!