I Don’t Regret Loving You

Now that I’ve thought about it, now that my anger has passed, and now that I have accepted that we are done, I realized that I don’t regret loving you.

I don’t regret meeting you at what I would call Universe’s master plan for us. True, we ended up parting ways but I am glad that for a time, I was yours and I was able to call you mine. I am glad that you are my first love and that you tried to love me back.  I am thankful for that.

Yes, it was a difficult ride, most of the time. But we also had great time together. When I was with you I discovered a lot of things about myself. You made me feel loved and accepted and you showed me how strong I can be. You always believed in me, even when I doubted myself. You were always pushing me to go forward. And now onwards I go without you, my dear.

I also discovered a lot of things about you. Yes, you were very difficult to love. A lot of times I thought of ending things with you but somehow you convinced me to stay. You are very strong, very deep, and very mysterious. You can be goofy at times but when things get serious, you always know what the right things to say—you always know what to do.

But you were not sure of our love. I get it.  Some woman hurt you years ago and broke you into million pieces and you were never able to put yourself back together completely.

Yes I get it. How stupid of me to think that I hold the glue and the missing pieces in your life.

No. I was not enough, was i? I always thought I was. But that’s okay. At least we tried. At least for a moment, you thought maybe I was “it”. You did, right? I never really got to ask, but I do hope that at least at some point in our time together, you saw me as someone truly special.

I always thought I can see right through you, but I guess I never saw it clearly. You are still in pain yet you were so brave to try again. But you can’t fully commit because years ago, you realized you gave your heart to another person, and you never really got it back whole. You never really understood why. All that you know is that you are afraid that someone will steal it away again and break it into tinier pieces.

You thought it was me.

I was never going to hurt you. No. I never had that intention, but I still hurt you in some ways I didn’t mean to. But I still loved you and I’ll never regret loving you. After all, you taught me how to love and that I can love with all my heart. You taught me the pain and joy, the bliss and the sorrow of it all. By the end, it was mostly tears yet, with all my heart I can say,

I never truly regretted loving you.

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