My parents and judo coaches taught me well. When you’re at fault, have the courage to own up to it and make amends. Apologize, and try to right your wrong.
That’s how I lived my life, to the point that I take blame for things I have not done. Somehow, I felt responsible for everything, from the little things that my brother finds annoying to me to the fact that I don’t have anyone.
And it’s my nature, I guess to keep on adjusting and to stay silent and to change. I keep on morphing into different beings just so I’ll be accepted. And it’s tiring. Somehow I created different versions of me to the point that I lost track of who I really am.
I looked at myself in the mirror and asked if I was happy. I wasn’t. I am not living my life. I am living how other people want me to live.
Sometimes you cannot control how others think of you and if you keep on changing so you’ll be accepted by one person, then you lose yourself. Not everyone will like you and that’s a fact. Some just can’t accept the way you are.
And that’s okay. Whether it’s a family member, a co-worker even a lover, that’s fine.
You just have to remember what you really want, who you want to be. Because it is your duty to live. You need to know that one day, you will wake up and look back, and have no regrets on how you lived your life.
And if they can’t accept you, then perhaps it’s time to move forward and leave them behind. Perhaps seeing them every day of the week is not necessary. They’ll be that person who you only see during family reunions or on Facebook.
And perhaps that is fine. Perhaps you need to cut some ties, just so you can move forward.
Over Pen and Coffee 